9. Empowered Living: Milestone Check & Goal Setting For A Thriving Life - Part 1

Ever wondered how to harness self-awareness to steer your life towards success and fulfillment? Join me, Sara, as we unravel the secrets of mastering your world and building resilience in the face of life's inevitable challenges. With tools and skills discussed in this episode, you'll be empowered to make decisions that align with your true self, fostering relationships that support your growth and well-being.

This isn't just about surviving; it's about thriving and propelling yourself towards an empowered, fulfilling journey. Stay tuned for continuous insights and inspiration, and let's walk this path of personal growth together. Your support fuels our mission to inspire better living for all.

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:00

Hi, welcome to the podcast between heart and brain. I'm Sarah, and I'm here to be with you in your personal growth and self-improvement journey, and I'm here to share my own life experiences with you. I'm a yoga teacher, a business intelligence manager with a master's degree in IT, and Nobel Queen International 2023 with health and wellness advocacy. I'm so excited to start this journey with you, to uplift you with positivity, the power of mindfulness and yoga and the freedom of conscious living. So let's start together and take a moment for yourself. Take a moment for yourself. Hello, welcome back to the podcast, or welcome to the podcast if it's your first time being here. So today we're going to talk about ways to have a good control of our lives. Basically, the direction that we are taking steps towards and the goals that we are setting are taking steps towards and the goals that we are setting. So let's say you're already at a place that you have financial freedom. Then what? What do you have to do with it? Or you want to give some sort of order to your life and you want to have some goals, but you're not sure how to start. You just know that you have to start somewhere. So this episode might be able to help you to at least visualize what you're gonna be dealing with and how your life is going to be and what are your priorities, so that you can take the right steps and make the decisions that are aligned with those goals. These are generally the things that we should aim for if we want to increase the quality of our life and we want to be able to trust ourselves better than before. In case that was something that we're struggling with before before, in case that was something that we're struggling with before, let's say, you're in your early 20s or mid-20s, or you're in your early 30s and it's just now that you want to be able to step up and take care of yourself better than before. What are the things that you have to be focusing on? Or you're already in your early 30s or whichever age. Whatever age you're at, you just want to check and see okay, do I have these things right or not? And it's okay if you notice that maybe I have to put in more efforts in some parts, or maybe I have to reevaluate how I'm approaching this topic or how I'm planning for it, it's fine. That's why we're talking about it here To see what are the things that we have to focus on and maybe be proud of ourselves for the things that we've already achieved and the things that we already have under control First would be self-awareness.

Speaker 1: 3:03

Control First would be self-awareness. We have to be able to understand ourselves, know our strengths, know our weaknesses, our personality traits. What are our goals if that's clear for us already and what are our values? It's very, very, very important to know our values, because that's what determines if we're going to say yes or no to something. If we don't know our values and I assure you, everyone does have some values when you do something that just feels all right with you, probably it's aligned with your values. And when you do something that, deep down, you don't feel good about it, probably it's not aligned with your values.

Speaker 1: 3:44

So when you take steps that are aligned with your values, you are moving closer towards your authentic self, and the authentic self is the self that's most confident. She or he has the most peace of mind and basically knows what they're doing. You know, knows what they're doing, supports themselves better than anyone else, and that's what we should thrive for. We should also know our strengths and make use of them, because those are our resources. What are some of your good personality traits or what are some of your resources. Maybe take some time, maybe pause the podcast or, after the podcast, grab pen and paper and try to write them down. What are the things that you look at them as your strength and you want to nurture those and you want to look at them as your resources that you can use at times of need.

Speaker 1: 4:57

And also be honest with yourself what are your weaknesses? It's okay, we're not here to shame ourselves. We're not here to judge ourselves. We just want to know what are our weaknesses. Is it that I have to improve my time management, as an example, or do I waste my time with things that don't really benefit me in the long run? Frequently, many times a day? Do I tend to procrastinate? Do I tend to consume or eat things that are not good for my body and my mind? We have to know our weaknesses so, when things don't feel great, we know what decisions are making. If we are falling into a pattern of, for example, eating junk food, no, or not eating at all because we don't feel that great.

Speaker 1: 6:02

We should know our weaknesses. We should have self-awareness for sure, and this is work of maybe some years, if not a lifetime, because we grow as we age. We grow in terms of our personality and responsibilities. At first we're just children. Then eventually we become adults and we become adults and we become husbands or wife or parents or fair moms or fair dads. So our responsibilities and everything that goes. But what I mean, what I try to say, is that we have to keep on knowing ourselves more and more every day and every year. But regardless, we have to have a good understanding of who we are as a person, so that we can say yes to things that are aligned with us and no to things that aren't aligned with us.

Speaker 1: 6:56

It's also important to develop emotional intelligence, being able to manage our emotions and also being able to empathize with other people. At times of need, we might feel like we would be happy if we have some support, but how can we receive any support if we're not there for other people, if you're not there for other people? If your friend is going through something and you're there for them, perhaps if you have a good friendship, when you're going through something, they're there for us, as well as your siblings or your parents. At some point we grow up and we become older and we'll be in their shoes. So let's be attentive to what they feel. What do they need? At the same time, let's be attentive to how we feel about things. What are the things that we need in any relationship work relationship, boyfriend and girlfriend marriage, siblings, relatives and girlfriend marriage, siblings, relatives let's develop that feeling of being able to empathize with people, not necessarily excusing everything, but just trying to understand where it's coming from. I think that gives us a good perspective on how to deal with situations and deal with people.

Speaker 1: 8:38

One very important trait of a person who is self-aware and has a good EQ is resilience. Life is not easy. I'm not sure if Disney prepared us for this when we were younger. That life is not really that easy. You know, you really have to work for a lot of things, the things that you want. You have to work for them and it's not always going to be given to you. Your rights are not always going to be given to you. The respect that you deserve, the job that you deserve, the education that you deserve they're not always going to be given to you. A lot of times, yes, there are a lot of good people in this world, but a lot of times no as well. So it's important to be resilient.

Speaker 1: 9:22

If you fall once, stand up again. Yeah, you might be bruised, you might have scratches but that's metaphorical, by the way but stand up again. You're falling in. Stand up again. It's okay. If you need to pause for a little bit, if you need to take a step back, devaluate if it's even worth fighting for, and if it is, then by all means do so. Something that my mom always told us when we were kids, since elementary, told me if something is within your rights, you'll get it. You won't wait for others to give it to you. And, oh my God, that has saved me so many times in my life. And you can only have if you develop resilience as one of your personality traits.

Speaker 1: 10:14

So, going through all of this, of course, you're going to get stressed and you're going to start maybe overthinking and you're going to get affected. So it's important to Also know how to manage stress. Some things work better for other people and you have to know what works better for you. I suggest listening to your body a lot of times and also giving things a try and see what works for you. For example, for me, when I'm really frustrated, running really helps me. It helps me channel my frustration or my anger into creativity. That's something that really works for me. Or a colorful plate of salad, something like that, or a colorful plate of salad, something like that, something that looks appealing and tastes good to me, those help me. It makes me feel like when I go there and make myself a good-looking salad that's delicious, with the kind of sauce or dressing that we call it sauce in Persian but yeah, it's dressing probably is a better choice of word in English with the kind of dressing that feels nice for me, I feel like I've given myself attention, I've given myself love, and that already makes me feel better and that helps me reduce the amount of stress that I'm dealing with at that moment.

Speaker 1: 11:48

Or drinking tea, or calling your friend, or calling your family, or watching something that makes you happy a familiar series, reading, taking a walk in the park, interacting with your pet If you have some there are so many ways you probably should know one or two and the other ones, maybe you can give them a try. If you've never tried cooking, try it and see if you enjoy it. So it's not for everyone for sure. Like anything else, it's not for everyone, but for some people, it could be therapeutic, it could be relaxing so it is for me or organizing the space that I live at. It gives me peace of mind. It gives me sense of control. So, instead of trying to control situations, okay, at least I'm controlling the area around me. It gives me some sort of happiness. So find out for yourself what are the things that allows you to control your worries and your stresses when facing challenges. Actually, not last, but at least I think I have a lot in this list that I want to talk about.

Speaker 1: 13:11

Money is really important. Money will always be important. I'm not talking about sacrificing your peace of mind and your time with your family to make so much money, but you should have enough money that, first of all, you can totally pay for your needs, you can pay for some of your wants, you can save up for your future and you can invest. Invest it could be an insurance, it could be a land, it could be a house, it could be a car. You should have this four.

Speaker 1: 13:51

So if you want to choose a career path, see if it's aligned with this four, or the job that you're looking at working at sorry, the job that you're working for is your job. Is your work giving you that assurance that you're going to have this for, or is it dead end? Is it stable enough? Or will you be able to make it stable if you give it like a couple of years? Because, listen, for any job I would say based on what I have learned. So I don't say things with hundred percent certainty, because I believe that everyone can learn and change their opinion eventually with experience. But so far I believe any job, you should be able to find stability within two to three years if you keep on practicing that profession. So see if that job or if that profession will provide you stability. If not, I'm not saying put it aside.

Speaker 1: 15:04

Maybe you want to think about having a second source of income. Actually, having a second source of income is always a good thing. I usually recommend it, even if it's not much, even if it's not comparable to your main job or your main source of income. At least you have some option. So if you, for any reason health-related or by choice you lose the first one, you always have the second one to go to or rely on for some period of time before you figure out what you want to do next.

Speaker 1: 15:36

You should also be able to do some networking. Meet people who are aligned with your goals, meet people who inspire you. Meet people who inspire you, meet people who are good for your soul and who uplift you, and through those people, you might even meet some new people. It's really important to get to know people in your profession, whatever you're doing. For example, when I started teaching yoga doing, for example, when I started teaching yoga, I got to know a lot more yoga teachers by, like, attending different workshops or, you know, hanging out with them, get to know their friends, and I met so many interesting people and I tried to offer my help anytime that I could, and they're the same. So it feels really empowering to have a community of people who are practicing the same thing. They can give you a lot of tips, they can give you a lot of suggestions, they can connect you to people that they know you can do the same for them. So that's really nice.

Speaker 1: 16:43

As someone who's already passed, I would say, 25 years old, networking should be on top of your priorities To be with people who are really good for your life, good for your soul. A lot of relationships are not necessarily for your profession or for your job. They're also for your personal life. Having friends that support you, having friends that celebrate you, having friends that support you, having friends that celebrates you, friends that make you feel good about yourself and allow you to become your kind and caring version, because you can also show them love, you can also show them support and be there for them. These are really empowering and these make us feel that we have a support system. So it's important to notice who we are spending our time with.

Speaker 1: 17:37

Now let's talk about saving and investing. So I heard a lot before that you should always save 25 to 30 percent of what you're making in a month, and for me, that wasn't ideal. If, yeah, I wasn't making much, maybe 25 percent or 30% would be ideal or much. It's something like something that just makes me survive and then I can save up 30% of it. I wanted to be able to save up 60% of what I make, and for that it meant that I have to earn more. So I tried so many things, not saying that everything worked, but I tried and I was able to go above that 20% or 30%. So that should be your goal too.

Speaker 1: 18:28

Maybe you want to start with 20% or 30% if you don't have that much stability, but if you do look at your consumption, instead of consuming and spending a lot of your money, try to save up 40, 50, even 60 percent of your salary. You should be able to save up. So at some point, if you want to start a business of your own, if you want to launch a product, if you want to go on a trip, if you, for whatever reason, you need some money, then you know you have the option to spend it. And when you save up that money, a big portion of it should go for emergency funds. God forbid. Imagine yourself or your loved one in a hospital for whatever. You should be able to pay for the hospital bill for more than a week I would say or two.

Speaker 1: 19:17

Do you have that much money saved up? That's the first thing you will save up for, and then after that, you will invest in hm or health care. You should have health care. You should take care of your body. You should get your teeth checked, get your blood checked, get your guts checked, get your bones checked. You get your bones checked. You should invest in your health. You should have yearly checkups and see if you're consuming what you have to consume. If your diet is fine, if your eyes are fine, at some point, if you need to go to a doctor you don't feel all right, then you won't be spending so much money on lab tests and doctors. You already have an insurance that can cover you. Maybe at first it's gonna feel like, oh why am I paying this much monthly for something that I might not use? But you never know when you're gonna use it.

Speaker 1: 20:16

I think COVID taught us a lot of good things, so that would be your next priority. Then it comes to stability. So you have to save up for a roof on top of your head. You can start by looking at lands that are cheap first. You cannot, probably, if you don't have support of family. You cannot aim for big stuff at first maybe. So try to invest in a good piece of land. Do your research, see if that area will improve Because if the area will improve then the price of your land will go higher. And also like maybe a place to live at down payment or pre-selling rent, to own something like that. That might be a little bit big. It kind of takes years to save up for something like that, but it's possible.

Speaker 1: 21:13

So a lot of people have this dilemma to save up for a car first or for a place. Well, to me, that depends on your lifestyle. Generally, it's better to save up for a place or a house or land real estate, basically, I would say because you can sell it for a better price, hopefully, if you buy something that's worthy and is improving, and also it gives you some sort of stability and you know that that property is yours. Compared to a car, that would bring you more costs for the maintenance, the gas and so much more. So I recommend going for real estate first if that's an option, but it still depends on you. For example, if your job is in sales, then definitely a car is important because that's how you're making money.

Speaker 1: 22:18

One more important thing that you should develop, a skill that you should develop, is negotiation. It's so important. Actually, sometimes I think why they don't teach you these things in college. Probably for some people they do teach it for some courses I'm guessing marketing or commerce but negotiation happens in everyone's life on a daily basis. You should be able to negotiate. Well, but let's look at it from a professional point of view. You should be able to negotiate contracts. If you're looking for jobs, you should be able to tell them what your skills are and what you settle for, what your benefits are going to be Basically. You should have that confidence and also the tact to ask for what you deserve. Or let's say you're starting a business, you're going to rent out a space. You should also be able to negotiate when you get your raw materials, if you can get them for cheaper or not. Try to do that. Try to do that. Try to learn that. If you're struggling with the negotiation skill, maybe look for some podcasts, look for some tips, go to YouTube. Interact with people who are good in negotiating, ask them for tips, watch them negotiate so you can also develop that skill and that intelligence.

Speaker 1: 23:52

You should also be able to learn your basic life skills, regardless of your gender. You should know how to cook, how to clean, how to maintain, you should have first aid kit at your home and you should know how to manage your time. If you're struggling with that, I suggest giving yourself a timetable or a schedule. A timetable or a schedule, a daily schedule, like something that you had back in school or if you have at your work. Give yourself a schedule and that really should apply to people who are not yet at a point that they have a job or they're not going to school, or they are and they cannot control their time as well as they should. So you can write it down and really try to follow that schedule. Go to bed at that time, that certain time that you decide to try to wake up at that certain time.

Speaker 1: 24:57

Invest time in your learning, in things that matter, in going out, meeting people, seeing the nature, so that you feel like your day is fulfilled by the end of day. That feeling of fulfillment is what's preventing us from experiencing depression, experiencing anxiety, losing our sense of self. When you feel fulfilled, okay, today I did this. I did that you're also giving yourself credit for achieving things, regardless how small or big those things are. So these are really important to have a good and healthy relationship with yourself, and you have to show up for yourself. So imagine someone who always tells you oh, my god, I'm going to love you so much, but then they don't do anything. How are you going to feel towards them after a while? That's going to be the same for you If you don't show up for yourself, if you don't do something good for yourself because you're committed to yourself, even if you don't feel like it at first. Then how are you going to feel good towards yourself after some time? Love yourself more.

Speaker 1: 26:06

So far, I've covered half of the things that I wanted to tell you. I'm going to keep the next episode. I keep the rest of the list for the next episode because I don't want to take a lot of time talking about this for this episode. So in the next episode I'm going to continue. Maybe it's a good time for you to spend some time and think about these things, see how far you are in achieving any of this and see what you can do to improve them.

Speaker 1: 26:43

Thanks for listening to me and see you again or talk to you again. Thank you, dear listeners, for joining me on this empowering journey today. As we conclude this episode, remember that your potential is boundless and your journey to a more fulfilling life has only just begun. I'm here to support you every step of the way, so keep coming back for more insights and inspiration. And remember this podcast is proudly independent, created with a passion for making a positive impact. Your support means the world to me, so please consider subscribing and sharing it with the people you know. Together, we can inspire more individuals on their journey to empowerment and a better life. See you soon for more life-changing discussions. Until we meet again, stay empowered.